I thought I had a good relationship with my mother-in-law, but I noticed she started becoming cold towards me when I had my second child, who is a boy.

My husband is her only child and doesn’t want to hurt her feeling by talking to her.

She’s fallen out with virtually everybody in the family. She’s divorced from her husband because he had children by another woman.

Whenever there is a family event, she insists she wouldn’t attend if her ex-husband is invited.

They have been separated for over 20 years! I see her ending up as a sad, old, lonely and bitter woman.

I just feel sorry for her and wish I could help her.

Aminat, by e-mail.

Dear Aminat,

Your mother-in-law has been allowed to get away with her selfish behaviour for a long time and changing that is almost impossible.

You can’t confront her either, since your husband will not back you up.

Your children need their grandfather and you should include him in their upbringing, it’s her choice if she decides to stay away.

As much as possible though, show her you care for her, but don’t let her get under your skin.

(Share your problems and release your burden. Write to Dear Bunmi: bunmsof@yahoo.co.uk)